Give Me …… Coffee
In the morning when I rise, I drink a glass of water (refreshes the body and flushes the internal organs). Then I spend some time focusing my mind and heart for the day. No, I don’t believe I get any cosmic brownie points for minutes spent reading or even praying but it alerts my lazy self that this day does not belong to me and streamlines my purpose. The other thing I do with hunky hubby is have a cup of coffee. We had a professional barista from Starbucks at our wedding (a friend) and so every sip is like a romantic reminder. We enjoy coffee – liquid love. Now while I’m seeing stars and hearts swirling around the living room hubby is trying to open his eyes and probably praying that no one chatters away. Our mornings are shared but very different. Smile.
This past week hubby went on a business trip. He usually makes the coffee. There was none. The pot had no water; there was no warm caffeinated goodness. There sat an empty bag in the cupboard. The house was dark, it was cold. It was a pretty serious dilemma. The boys and I went through our normal routine and I dropped them off at school. We were all missing the dad, but sincerely I was also missing the coffee.
One of the tasks for my day was to pay our tithe. Tithing has not been as fun recently as it seems so impersonal to send it off rather than dance or worship or hilariously give. The blond guy on television says tithing must be the FIRST thing that comes from our income. A speaker at church (Kennedy) states if you don’t do it before other expenses you are merely tipping God and in control of your own money – it’s a heart issue. That all sounds really good – in the middle of the month. It is more easy to debate at the end of the month when grocery budgets are strained. Sometimes you just shrug and wonder if God really cares about all those quarters and dimes. A couple weeks ago all I had in the bottom of my purse was a used gum wrapper and 27 cents. The next week I noticed it had doubled – even the gum wrapper.
So, after dropping the kids off at school I decided to put first things first. I went to the bank to get a money order so it didn’t tie up our account if the check wasn’t cashed right away. You have to get out of your car to do that and actually go in the bank. Once in, the lady (who looked like she had not had coffee either) said they didn’t do those and that I should go to QT. So, back in the car. Now I had the need to go through the drive thru at Starbucks but that would be first and since I was feeling especially legalistic I decided to go the full Monty. Once in QT, the nice man told me they didn’t do money orders with a debit card. That’s when the coffee withdrawal started kicking in. The bank lady seemed like a villain and I felt especially foolish – I had not brought cash. A kind lady walked over, fully perked and ready to go for the day – I’m assuming she has had a full pot of coffee, and told me there was an ATM around the corner. It sounded so easy but my liquid love tank is now sucking wind. Funny thing about ATM’s – they need passwords which require CAFFEINE! Two years with the same password that is from a number I shouldn’t forget and there I stood. If you stand there and no money comes out, you look suspicious. There was also a small potential that I might fall asleep. I wondered if God saw all these efforts and if it made any difference or if I should have just done this task in the course of my day instead of making it such a priority.
Next thought was…. You may wonder why I think you care about my inner thoughts but I promise you it will help you as there is nothing new under the sun, especially when it comes to warfare. I randomly thought, God is not legalistic. Does He really care if I tithe first? Surely He loves me and like David ate the grain in the field, God knows that I NEED COFFEE. Did He really say? I mean does He really care about the order of my day when He runs the universe? He sees my heart that I’m on my way and this is silly. A non-believer would think Christians are led by nonsense if I said anything. God owns the cattle on a thousand hills, surely He can wait another half hour (after I get a latte at Starbucks) to get His money. Note that the coffee under 2.00 was elevated to a latte. Hmm? This is feeling less and less like worship.
I got back in my car to head to the bank when I saw the COSTCO sign. They probably have money orders there. I got out in the cold air, now my neck is hurting. No longer do they do money orders. They do however have large packs of blueberries and warehouse size bags of COFFEE. God wants my family to eat? Who would fault me if I just bought groceries really quick like and then went to the Starbucks and then to the bank? No one even knows I’m going through all this. I’ve served the Lord for years, He isn’t concerned about my measly little tithe, He would rather I feed my family and protect my health. Doesn’t God care about hungry little children? Legalism is like leaven and I’m bought with the blood. Yep, I’m free and this is ridiculous, for heaven’s sake. … Heaven’s sake. By this point the obvious has floated to the top that I’m a little more pampered than I thought and think way too deeply about theology. However my heart really wants to bless God and put Him first in my life. I want to honor Him.
As I drove out of the parking lot I noticed a couple having an argument. He went away and the woman sat there. Now I’m going to be lured away and distracted again from getting on with my day? No way, only Pharisees struggle with all this minutia and I’m going home. I got to the end of the parking lot and felt drawn to go back. God saw this woman. He had compassion on her. Her craving for God (prayer) was much stronger than my craving for caffeine and something arrested my attention. God sees her now.
This blog isn’t about that encounter although it would be a cool and fun story to tell.
I left that parking lot singing, crying tears of joy and so aware that God sees where we are and knows everything about us. I was so deeply touched that God loved this person so much that He “illuminated” her and let her know that He saw her and cared enough to step into her world. As I pulled out to the highway I sensed the presence of God so strong in my car that it even satisfied my craving for coffee. It would be late in the afternoon before I even remembered I wanted some. I absolutely do not have to tithe, nor do I have to do specific exercises to “prove” my love or gain God’s favor. But somehow, when I align myself with His purposes which benefit me, He brings me into His world and shows me a little taste of His kingdom. I felt like I was on His schedule and plan rather than just my own. The clock of my week and day were altered but it turned out better than if I had just had an ordinary day doing my own thing. Had God circumvented my day and circumstances to get me into place for His design?
This morning I read in Mark 9 that Jesus was going up on a mountain by himself and the disciples went with him. It wasn’t a special event, just a couple guys getting away – until Elijah and Moses showed up. God speaks (one of the only times in the NT) and tells them to listen to JESUS. Big theological shift. The disciple’s immediately try to put Him in one of their boxes (tents) to make sure He’s safe and covered but God covered Him from on high. It started out just an ordinary day – but they followed the King and it became very extraordinary.
This morning I woke up and felt stirred to write this blog. I usually do it on Mondays. I’m not sure why but it seems like maybe there is someone reading this that is worn down from serving God with a pure heart and being around others who are offering up things Cain style. Serve Him anyway. Flourish and love extravagantly – don’t let others miserly or stingy hearts make you feel prudish or legalistic because you run with abandoned love. Whether you are in a car, van or Costco parking lot, God knows your struggles and your efforts to love on Him. He can sort out the rest because He loves you. Your efforts to bless Him please and delight His heart.
Any movement towards God is a praise.
I get muddled up with all the rules and regulations — I don’t even know what they are at times. I know I do not want to be like a Pharisee or Sadducee. More than anything I want to align my heart and life with Kingdom principles and follow after Christ. I need His liquid love daily and I want to do my part however large or small. Whether its tithing, Sabbath observance, serving… Listen to Jesus and follow HIM. He’s got this covered and wants to show us HIS Kingdom. We love because He first loved us.
In the morning, when I rise, just give me coffee ….. JESUS.
Ps. Yes the tithe got all ready, the bank blessed me and God provided for a need. Those led by the spirit are the sons of God. So glad the liquid love of Heaven never runs dry.
Renae Roche February 2019