Proverbs
Oh, the Adventures of the Roche family! No one ever told me that teaching your son to drive meant that you would one day, put your life in his hands. Or that he would make decisions quickly that you have absolutely no control over at all. He’s actually becoming a good driver but the urge to scream when people get close to my “baby” is intense. When he went to take the driver’s test, I was a nervous wreck. He aced it and then we had to discuss the wisdom of keeping that news quiet –until after he left the building where other teens (and nervous parents) were fretting and awaiting exam scores. O.K. truthfully, I wanted to jump and shout with glee, but others were crying, so Jackson grabbed my arm and said, “Lets go mom, no one needs to hear this.”
Rules, guidelines, precepts – this book doesn’t exactly seem like sweet devotional material because it is challenging as it rebukes, exhorts and corrects. “As a dog returns to its vomit” isn’t something you want to read while say, eating breakfast, right? We had to savor one Proverb at a time some days as the whole book is packed with things that make you go “hmm?”
Jordan Raynor, in his article “How to get constructive and sanctifying feedback from others (The Word before Work series)[1] lays out how to practically apply Proverbs. It came the day I started to write the blog which fascinated me because I was studying Proverbs 27:5-6 at the time which says, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” The Proverbs weren’t meant to confuse us but to apply to our real-life situations. Raynor’s practical application of this Proverb is not only spot on but would be amazing if families, the whole nation could read it and apply it during this hot and contentious political season.
We’re teaching our kids to spot traps, snares and problems before they happen. As they turn into teenagers and adults the lessons fade as natural consequences come to bear. I wish I could prevent them from all problems, but I can’t. Truthfully, I can’t even do that for myself. One glance at Facebook or the News will show us that many common people and leaders in our land have not learned from the Proverbs how to navigate the daily or to avoid landmines.
Speaking of Landmines—I was in one once. We missed a sign and got there by mistake. The driver later became very skilled at avoiding landmines maybe because of this near miss with death. It was a very scary night that I will not soon forget. Here is what I learned from that episode. Many were asleep and missed the sign. Those new to the area did not have prior experience there. Wise counsel can really make a difference in moments like those. We don’t know what we don’t know, right? Proverbs 15:22 states, without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” We’ve been talking about this at our house. I remember hearing stories from Billy Grahams friends when I was in seminary. When he would travel, he would take 2-3 of his friends with him for his safety, for accountability and also to calm the heart of his precious wife Ruth. It cost him personally but not as much as a scandal would have cost. It cost the ministry, but it provided safeguard and trust for future trips. What may have looked like “legalism” to others actually provided great freedom for him. I would add years of successful ministry without scandal as well.
Slowing our hearts, calming our lives down and listening prevents many errors. Taking a beat, unplugging, pausing, unwinding yields sounds and rhythms we would otherwise miss. If the beginning of wisdom is the fear of God that means we not only revere and believe in God but that we consider and seek His voice, His guidance. Continually.
I want myself and my kids to be wise. Not book wise or streetwise, although those things certainly can help. I want our family to be in Covenant with God, peace with God and obedient to God. The Bible and this book of Proverbs is intended to show us where the “landmines” are and what to avoid in order to stay safe and holy. When we get going at electric speed and busy in our schedules, we not only miss important signs, but we tend to forget Gods precepts. They are designed to protect and guide us.
Who is wise among you? The ones who follow after Gods heart and word.
In Proverbs the father is seen in the first part of the book and the mother is seen in the last part of the book as virtuous examples and loving guides. They bookmark these wise words and give a promise for those who yield to wise advice. More than just listening to homespun riddles, Proverbs teaches us Gods WILL. We also see the fruitfulness and wisdom as displayed in King Solomons early life. The other hero in this book? An ant. A very wise ant who teaches us college level wisdom. I really like that part.
You may be familiar with pithy statements like “,Oh, what a web we weave when first we practice to deceive” or “A clean house is a godly house”. Some of these sayings are helpful but not biblical. They are meant to teach young people to live straight, and they work. It seems kids that have parents that drill these into their training, get the message. The non-biblical ones however can produce frustration and condemnation. For example, God would rather your house be holy than dust free, right? You can drag a horse to water but you can’t make him drink”. These are true, but there might be higher priorities in any moment. Doing things “right” or “perfect” or even “safe” may be in opposition to what the Holy Spirit is doing in that moment. Legalism and spiritual practices must be held in the balance of Freedom and the Gods’ wisdom applied may be very different than what we think or believe. I think it takes a lifetime to learn these things. It surely takes a listening ear and fresh obedience.
My oldest son was sharing one morning that we had told him to “look both ways” when crossing the street. When he left school that afternoon, he was walking with a friend that darted across the road. Instead of looking both ways, he sped off behind his good friend -without looking both ways for himself. He ignored the wisdom of his parents because he was watching his fast friend. He reasoned, if his friend could do it, then he could do it and his parents probably were not fully understanding their youthful agility. Maybe his parents couldn’t run fast so their advice was outdated. So, he ran across the street, sprinting behind his buddy Duke. They were older now. It was time to go to new places. What he forgot in the equation is that he had a big backpack on and although his friend sprinted across and he made it across, his backpack unfortunately did not and was hit by a cars rear view mirror as he crossed the street.
Such a little, inconsequential lesson had a big consequence. The driver did not stop to check on his injured jay-runner, instead he honked and yelled at him. It could have been worse, it could have been deadly. Although the lesson was clear, when he saw someone else do it without a problem, he went for it and almost got killed. He is wiser for that experience and now sees the value in “life lessons” from parents and other adults. I remember many things my folks said that I didn’t get until I had teenagers. I’m glad for Gods’ grace, so very glad.
Proverbs guide us. Proverbs protect us. Proverbs instruct us for our bodies, our hearts, our families.
This blog is not political but if you read the last section around 24 to 31 there are so many rich, life-giving lessons that could literally turn our nation around. I fear the public discourse has gotten so putrid and so out of hand that all sense of morality and justice has been lost. Leaders mocking leaders, men mocking women, women disparaging men, it’s a tangled mess. It does not seem like anyone remembers the Biblical precepts or promises from this precious book. Consider Prov.26:27 that says, “Whoever digs a pit will fall into it; if someone rolls a stone, it will roll back on them.” Guaranteed.
I’ve decided to not engage in the mudslinging or even well intentioned debates that don’t produce anything but division. I delete Facebook posts that are demeaning to men and women. I’m not laughing at any party that is not edifying. Memes of violence, hatred and murder – I’m not crossing that street because I know the outcome for me will not end well. Others may run with the story, but I’d rather steer clear of the landmines. I know the consequences for that and I have work to do. I am choosing to use words that aren’t found in bathroom stalls. I want to live in the Fear of God and choose Gods’ wisdom over any political – or religious parties controversies. Herd mentality anywhere takes our eyes off the One we are to follow. I think repentance is the only way out of the pit we have dug for ourselves as a nation.
That’s just my take on Proverbs. Please text, email or share your thoughts. “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Proverbs 27:17
RenaeRoche2024
[1] Raynor, Jordan. Author of multiple books, a podcast and the series The Word Before Work.